George, the Protector

George the Protector; by Max Angst

I was sitting in Burnie’s Bar when Teddy Dumbrowski came in. Teddy is one of those interesting people who have a shit load of opinions mostly gained from listening to talk radio. The news was on the TV when Teddy arrived and the reporter was saying how George Bush was viewed by many people as being stronger than John Kerry when it came to defending the country and keeping it safe.

"That’s right," said Teddy. "The way he moved into Afghanistan and Iraq showed
those towel heads not to mess with us."

"Tell me Ted," I responded "Just how did it breakdown? How many of the hijackers were Afghani and how many were Iraqi?"

"I think it was about fifty, fifty."

"That goes to show you can’t trust the Internet," I said. "I found this article that said 15 came from Saudi Arabia The remaining four came from Egypt the Inited Arab Emirates and Lebanon ."
"
That’s crazy. If non of the hijackers came from Afghanistan or Iraq why would President Bush invade those countries?" Teddy Responded.

"Yeah! That’s what I was wondering?"

"Anyhow, President Bush is better at defending this country because he’s a Christian." Teddy told me.

"John Kerry’s a Christian," I said.

"No, No, Kerry’s a Catholic." Ted answered

I thought the Catholics were the original Christians.

"Geez Max you don’t know your history. Back in the middle ages Martin Luther King threw the Catholics out of the Christian Church. It was called the Spanish Imposition or the Reparations or something."

"But how does that make Bush better at defending the country?"

He has a better program. He’s going to go over there and make all the ragheads Christians. Then they won’t bother us any more. He could call it a Crusade."

"You don’t think the Muslims would mind?"

"Heck no. it would be the best thing that ever happened to them. That way when they die they could go to heaven. Even better they could stop wearing those damn sheets and put on some decent clothes."

"Teddy, I believe the Muslims are going fight to hold on to what they have."

"Well if they do, then President Bush will nuke the whole damn bunch of them. It’s the Christian thing to do. After all if they don’t take the opportunity he offers them, they’re nothing but a bunch of hardheaded infidels."

"Yeah, and it’s our duty to wipe out the infidels."

"Right, Max, now you got it."

"Yeah, and so does Osama Bin Laden"